Internet dating messages I have received, no. 5

I feel slightly guilty posting this. Only slightly. I think maybe he's a sweet person. But his message is also stinking of desperation and I'm nearly positive he's cut, pasted and sent this monstrosity to any girl in a 20-mile radius (sooo flattering). Abuse of exclamation mark is one of my pet hates, not to mention he's calling himself The Mermaid. If you are a man who likes woman parts, then please do not create a username of the half-naked-female-plus-fish variety. Serious. You might also avoid names like: unicorn_lover, RainbowsRule, LikesUrKnickers, barbie-doll and kittensNpuppies. I still can't decide if the fact that he owns hair straighteners is necessarily a bad thing. I mean, I don't have any. We could share. But then I think this information is best reserved for....later. Much much later.

Hello how are you??

I'm [The Mermaid]. you are???

Your rather lovely!! :-))
i am writing to you in the hope that you may find me rather lovely too!!??!! :-))

I'll apologize in advance for all the LOL'S however i do laugh a lot and smile a lot!! Its good!! It has to be better than being miserable! Unenthusiastic! not smiling alot!! or not laughing a lot!....lol!!! Wouldn't you agree? :-))

regarding your ideal match and me! :-))
I'm generous-
Creative-
Positive!

i have attained the necessary life skills. i have learned from my experiences and mistakes whether those where good, great, amazing or rubbish! lol! making me more off a complete person! how about you??
i'm kind, caring, upbeat! FUN!

I am an honest, open minded, easygoing person who enjoys trying new things, seeing new places! how about you??

I have an interest in the world and would like to see a lot more off it when i find the correct companion! You?

I much prefer someone to have an opinion, even if it's the opposite of mine, than not having anything to say. - how about you??

I'm an excellent conversationalist as well as a great listener! i don't think that I'd be a boring dinner date or a person to be around! you???

I am into music, gigs, festivals, theatre, cinema, comedians, shows, the zoo! ha! count me in for those pls! you???

i have a good occupation/career based in Manchester. you??

i will make you lovely cups of tea with just the right amount of milk and or sugar and pour you drinks upon your request, without you having to move!! ha!! you will especially appreciate those skills on "duvet" or "lie in" days!! ha!!

You can be in charge of the TV remote control!!! lol!!

i'll run you a bath after a hard day!! ha!

i keep fit and look after myself. You will not have to get the doorways widened to accommodate my beer and kebab belly!!! lol! (cue the fat b-word scene from Austin Powers... "do you like my sexy body" ha!! .. fear not there will be plenty of room for you on the sofa!! actually i'm a bit of a girl when it comes to my appearance..... i have my very own GHD Mk4's and one or two other items!!! ha!! not to mention my manbag!! i'm JOKING ... about the handbag! I''d have thought that you'll pleased that i make an effort towards my appearance?!! :-)) how about you??

I'm very polite, sensitive towards people feelings and kind to people who are less fortunate!! and to waiters...especially with my tips!!!! ha!!! you?

I enjoy indulging in pleasure and the finer things in life @ the appropriate times, as i work very hard to achieve those!! however i am equally as comfortable being in dress down, or simply staying in and creating our own pleasurable evening! i usually prefer dress down chilled out good music laid back zero pretense kind of places. That does not mean that i wouldn't go somewhere upmarket, or attend a ball, or put on a tuxedo or a suit!! lol! or always have to be in jeans and trainers! lol!! how about you??

It maybe that we are @ a particular juncture in our lives, where we are both looking for identical things and share the same values and interests?? It could be that we have ended up in an identical or similar situation for similar reasons!? :-))

Ok let me think about the way forward here .....
I appreciate there has to be a basis or a foundation for a friendship, or a relationship, or for you to want to get to know me, or to meet me!! lol!!:-))

Right! I know!!
There is an overview of me on here off course, which frankly is impossible to get completely accurate!! or state every minute little detail about me, my interests, my life and loves!! ... and i'm not very photogenic!! lol!! gr8! NOT!!

i have gone with stating musical interests and recent travels!! Thereafter, there wasn't much room left to write about anything else!! lol!! i can assure you that there is a lot more to me than merely musical interests and recent places visited!!

One of the difficulties is that there could be a detail or facts that i have not written about me, due to a lack of space! lol! that you may find appealing or attractive!? lol!!

Oh what the hell i suppose its the same for everyone else and that's exactly where having an open mind will play a part!

Do you know what i am wittering on about? cos i don't! ha!!! lol
Pls have a look @ lovely me!! pls advise your thoughts! :-)) ha!! thank you!!

oh and i have recently celebrated my birthday so i now expect you to sing your very own rendition of happy birthday to me pls in your best karaoke or school choir voice!! lol! .. .. its ok nobody's listening!! lol!!

OK Enough about me now! ha!! i'd like know about you pls! :-)) i will ask you more questions in order to get to know you when you reply!! :-))

*SMILE LOTS*

take care
[The Mermaid]

PS.
I have just secured tickets for OASIS KASABIAN!! + Franz Ferdinand + Kaiser Chiefs + Razorlight! i've just been to see Bloc Party and they were quality!!!! you are welcome to accompany me .... assuming you like any of those bands???

I believe that Life is too short! and that Life is what YOU make it!!
It would certainly be adventurous, humorous, pleasurable, FUN and it may lead to depth, meaning and significance!!! :-))


PPS ... lol!!!
If i don't hear from you, I will assume that I am not your style! lol!!...
..... however you are making a very grave error! a huge mistake! haha!!

Have a wonderful 2009!! I genuinely wish you well for the future and the
best off luck in finding your Mr Right :-))

TAKE CARE

****** SMILE LOTS ******